It is really amazing the rosy picture perfect dreams we women have before we get married .We have this unrealistic believe that marriage will answer all our problems and as long as we meet a man that loves us and we love him, then every thing will be okay. That believe is for novels and not really what is realistic. Today I want to discourse something that is normally not discussed and emphasized in marriage courses and that is the act of conflict resolution. You will be amazed how many times couples have conflict in their early stages of marriage and how many times such couples will begin to wonder if they are married to the wrong person or even begin to wish that they never got married in the first place. The truth is that even if you were married to somebody else, there will still be conflicts. So the best thing is not how to run away from conflict but to learn how to resolve them when they arise. A marriage relationship is a coming together of two different people with different cultures , different ways of looking at situations ,reasoning, etc. As a result, conflicts and arguments should be viewed as a natural parts of our lives and should be seen as a means of getting to know your partner better
What then is conflict resolution? I will say it is a way for two or more people to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement among .The disagreement may be personal, financial, political, or emotional
When a dispute arises, often the best course of action is negotiation to resolve the disagreement.
The goals of negotiation are:To produce a solution that all parties can agree to
To work as quickly as possible to find this solution
To improve, not hurt, the relationship between the people in conflict
Conflict resolution through negotiation can be good for all parties involved. Often, each side will get more by participating in negotiations than they would by walking away. In marriages, conflicts should be quickly resolved and not left to elongate because as I said earlier the main goal of conflict resolution is To understand more about your partner whose ideas, beliefs, and backgrounds may be different from your own. In order to resolve a conflict, you'll need to look at the conflict from your partners point of view and learn more about this person or perspective and motivations.
To ensure that your relationships with your partner continues and grows. . Successful negotiations pave the way for smooth relationships in the future.
To find peaceful solutions to difficult situations. Full-blown battles use up resources -- time, energy, good reputation, motivation. By negotiating, and resolving conflicts ,you avoid wasting these resources, and you may actually make new allies and find new resources
Conflicts arise for a variety of different reasons. It is important for you to define clearly your own position and interests in the conflict, and to understand those of your partner. Learn to
. Listen. your partners opinions are important to you, because their opinions are the source of your conflict. If something is important to them, you need to recognize this. Recognizing does not mean agreeing, of course!
Talk about your strong emotions. Let the other side let off steam.
Don't, however, react to emotional outbursts! Try an apology instead of yelling back. Apologizing is not costly, and is often a rewarding technique . and two wrongs does not make a right
Be an active listener. Rephrase what you're hearing as a question: "Let me see if I'm following you. You're saying that... Have I got that right?" You can still be firm when you're listening.
Speak about yourself, not the other party. example, you might say, "I feel angry about the way you talked to me .
Be concrete, but flexible. Speak about your interests, not about your position.
Avoid early judgments. Keep asking questions and gathering information
I hope this few points will be of help to you.
Article source www.ctb.ku.edu
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