If one is to ask the average woman what is the most important thing that keeps two people married for many years ,the most likely answer you will get is" LOVE" .Many years ago , I will have quickly agreed that love alone can keep a man and woman married for a very long time. but in recent times after several observations of several marriages and my own personal experience in my own marriage ,I have come to the conclusion that LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH TO KEEP A MARRIAGE . Love needs two other legs to support it. That is KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING . Many young people that are in love may not agree with me .but lets look at this clearly with our heads without sentiments. What happens to a lovely couple that seem to be very much in love with each other on their wedding day but soon after about 3-4 years of marriage, they are throwing pots at each other and the next thing is that they want a divorce to go their separate ways. What happened to the love? This seems to be the trend in the marriage kingdom even in Christian marriage kingdoms that one would thing should last longer.
I have come to realize that you cannot love your partner for long without putting in more effort into knowing and understanding him/her. How do you get to know your partner? First and for most you must Ask God to give you the wisdom and insight to know this person God has brought into your life. To know his/her character, to know his or her temperament ,to know situations that may aggravate the bad part of the temperament . and situations or reactions that can bring out the good part of the temperament. This is so very important for a lasting relationship that I can t even know how to begin to emphasize this. You see the trick is that when you are aware of the good and bad sides of your partners temperament, you will be able to lay it before God to improve the bad part and perfect the good part, This knowledge ushers you into the beginning of understanding your partner and this understanding is what will establish your relationship . For example if you have a partner that tends to get hyper over simple matters ,but on the other hand is a good provider ,or a good cook, or a good communicator , All you have to do is to present the negative part of his/her character before God to help him/her because asking God to help him/her is actually asking God to indirectly help you to cope with that negative part of your partner . and it never ceases to amaze me how God can work in such a situation by increasing your patience and decreasing your partners impatience. This process of acquiring understanding of your partner may not be as easy as I have written it but it is very workable as long as you have commitment and perseverance .When you see couples that have been married for 20,25, even 50 years like my parents, its LOVE, KNOWLEDGE ,AND UNDERSTANDING that has kept them thus far .not just love May God help us to practice this so that we will have marriages that will last long in our generation. Remain blessed
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